


Ready for those flashing lights

by tocourtdisaster



Category: Star Trek (2009)
Genre: Established Relationship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-06-28
Updated: 2010-06-28
Packaged: 2017-10-10 07:45:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,515
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/97327
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tocourtdisaster/pseuds/tocourtdisaster
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Leonard happens upon an issue of <em>People</em> magazine with Jim Kirk's face on the cover. He is less than amused by the accompanying article.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ready for those flashing lights

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [People Magazine Reveals](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/1107) by laughter_now. 



> This story was greatly inspired by [](http://laughter-now.livejournal.com/profile)[**laughter_now**](http://laughter-now.livejournal.com/)'s absolutely fabulous [People Magazine Reveals](http://laughter-now.livejournal.com/25106.html), which was a fill for [this prompt](http://buckleup-meme.livejournal.com/5309.html?thread=264637#t264637) at [](http://buckleup-meme.livejournal.com/profile)[**buckleup_meme**](http://buckleup-meme.livejournal.com/). Go check it out and leave [](http://laughter-now.livejournal.com/profile)[**laughter_now**](http://laughter-now.livejournal.com/) lots and lots of lovely feedback for her kick-ass skills.
> 
> The title of this is from "Paparazzi" by Lady Gaga. (Oh, god, I swore I'd never have a Lady Gaga title, but I also swore, once upon a time, that I'd never write slash. Oh, how times have changed.)

Jim Kirk is something of a narcissist, so it's no surprise that he's set up his PADD to send him alerts whenever an article is publish that includes his name. Leonard could have done without knowing this about Jim, but seeing as he'd been running late for his shift at the hospital this morning because Jim refused to let him out of bed, he'd accidentally grabbed the wrong PADD and now, he's getting pinged practically every other goddamned minute and can't for the life of him figure out how to turn it off.

He's over it precisely thirteen minutes after it starts and is getting ready to power the damned thing down and go without a PADD till he can make it back to their room and get his own during his lunch when the blasted thing gets a double alert.

That's new and it's the only reason Leonard bothers to check the alert and comes to know that Jim's set up alerts for Leonard's name, too. And they were both tagged in the same article. Not completely abnormal; the whole universe knows they're friends and are both set to be assigned to the _Enterprise_. It's the publication title that sets a knot growing in Leonard's stomach.

_People Magazine Special Edition: Exclusive! James T. Kirk, Secret Affair Revealed!_

"Shit," Leonard mutters, then glances around the corridor where he'd stopped to check the alert. A couple of people glance at him, but no one stares; everyone's pretty much used to Doctor McCoy's crochety nature and random obscenities.

He ducks into the first empty exam room he finds and locks the door behind himself, sitting on the rolling stool next to the biobed before clicking on the link in the alert. He's got to admit that the cover's pretty eye-catching; it's Jim's official Starfleet photo, the one Leonard's had a soft spot for since he first saw it attached to Starfleet's first official statement in the aftermath of the _Narada_ incident.

As soon as he scrolls to page three and the headline screams 'The Captain &amp; His CMO' at him, Leonard knows that his life as he knows it is over. Sure, _People_ is little more than a gossip rag, but that's never stopped people from taking rumor as fact before. He remembers the Pike/Barnett scandal from his first semester in San Francisco that was totally untrue, but is still brought up by new recruits because they assume it's true since it was published in _US Weekly_.

At least they picked a good picture of the two of them from that fundraiser in Atlanta last month to put in the article.

He scans the short article quickly, notices that no source is named, but he would bet his last bottle of bourbon on Gaila being the one who hacked and then leaked the security feed that seems to have started this whole fiasco. That would explain the timing; Len's been staying with Jim since they got back to Earth, but Gaila was only released from Medical last week after intensive reconstructive surgery and physical therapy after being crushed under a falling bulkhead during their first encounter with the _Narada_ over the skies of Vulcan.

"The fuck?" Leonard nearly drops the PADD and has to read over the second to last paragraph three times before he's willing to admit that he's not hallucinating. _Wedding bells? Tie the knot?_ No way in _hell_.

The PADD pings him an alert that he has a new message. He clicks over to his Fleetmail account and two more messages appear in his inbox before he has time to even click on the first one. Oh, god, it's gonna be a long day.

By now there are messages from Uhura, Chapel, Chekov, his mother, his aunt Anita, Grammy Edie, Winona Kirk, even Spock of all goddamned people. He clicks on his mother's message first.

 

_Leonard Horatio McCoy! _

You better have a good reason for why this is the first time I'm hearing about you and Jim. This is the kind of news a mother should get first-hand, boy, not through a gossip magazine! How long have you two been together? You call me this evening, Leonard, and we'll talk.

All my love,  
Mom

 

While he's been reading Mom's message, another handful of messages have appeared at the top of his inbox, including one from Gaila.

 

_Doctor Leonard, did you notice that if you click on the photo from the security footage, it will take you to a video clip of you and Jim making out? It's seriously hot. If you or Jim are ever interested in a little extra fun for the night, be sure to call me up._

Kisses, Gaila

 

Oh, he's gonna kill Gaila. Although he has to admit that, objectively, the video footage of him and Jim together is pretty hot.

His personal communicator starts to chirp at him before he can tear his eyes away from the video clip and he's almost grateful for the interruption. Watching that clip is just a little _too_ arousing to do in a public place.

He flips open the communicator. "McCoy."

"Bones, you gotta believe that I had no idea about this," is the first thing out of Jim's mouth and Leonard can't say he's surprised. He might have suspected Jim if he didn't know that Gaila's been trying to get them to admit to their relationship since she first learned about it, not long after Leonard became her primary physician a week after she regained consciousness in San Francisco. "I didn't do this, so please don't be angry at me, Bones."

"I know, Jim, and I'm not angry," Leonard says. "At least not at you and maybe not even at Gaila even though god knows I should be."

"Wait, what?" Even without being able to see Jim, Leonard can picture the little furrow Jim gets between his eyes when he's confused, his eyes narrowed as he tries to follow Leonard's train of thought.

"Gaila leaked the footage, Jim," Leonard says slowly as if he were speaking to a child. "She's known for months."

"...How?" Leonard smirks, proud that he's reduced Jim to monosyllabic words outside of the bedroom.

"Do you remember that hickey you left behind my ear?" Leonard asks. It'd been the first and only time Jim had marked him somewhere not easily concealable and was the whole reason Leonard doesn't allow bites or suck marks above his collarbone anymore.

"Yeah."

"Gaila saw it and ferreted the truth outta me," Leonard says. He should've known that Gaila would connect the dots quicker than anyone else they knew, mainly because she knew Jim and she knew Leonard and she knew, even before they did, that they'd be great together.

"Well, that would explain the little wink and ass slap I got when I had dinner with her last night," Jim says and Leonard can almost see Jim tipping his head to the side and rubbing the back of his neck with that abashed little boy look he gets sometimes when he realizes he's missed something fairly important.

"Have you checked your Fleetmail yet?" Leonard asks after a moment.

"I haven't been able to bring myself to yet. Why?"

"I was just wondering if your mom messaged you, too, or if it was just me," Leonard says. He can hear Jim's breathing speed up over the comm and realizes that Jim's given absolutely no thought to what they're going to be hearing from their friends, let alone their families, though he's obviously thought that _someone_, probably the brass, would be on their asses about the article.

"Oh, god, she did," Jim says. "'James Kirk, is there any particular reason you never bothered to mention to me that you're in love with your best friend?' Blah, blah, lots of guilt-tripping and then, oh shit. 'Make sure you bring Leonard home with you when you visit next month. I'd like to meet my future son-in-law sometime before the wedding.'"

Leonard can't help the laugh that bursts out of him of its own accord. He clicks over to his own message from Winona Kirk and smiles when the first line is _Ignore my message to Jim; it's been far too long since I've been able to properly mortify him in regards to his love life._ He doesn't tell Jim this, but he does say, "You mother formally invited me to join you on your trip to Iowa."

"Holy hell," Jim mutters. "Could this day get any worse?"

"Just wait until I get off shift," Leonard tells him, "and we call _my_ mother."

"Fuck!"

Maybe Leonard was wrong about this being the worst thing that could happen. Because _this_? This has been pretty damn amusing so far.

"Goodbye, Jim."

"Love you, Bones."

"Same here."

Leonard flips his communicator shut before slipping it back onto his belt. Jim's PADD gets powered down and Leonard returns to his rounds with a spring in his step and a glimmer in his eye.

Well, maybe nothing so extreme, but he's certainly less grumpy than normal for the rest of the day.


End file.
